Another topic that has recently come up is the relative ethics as well as the social respectability of pursuing a woman, with a known (to use a Victorian word) suitor. Though apparently acceptable in ages gone by this is become a little more of a convoluted issue in the current relationally obsessed culture in which we now live. There are several points to consider as we pursue the answer to this important question.
- Is the suitor a member of the same fraternity as yourself?
If this happens to be the case such a dastardly act will surely be met with the utmost hostility and possibly amusing and life-threatening pranks. We actually encountered a story of such an act during the research for this article. To explain concisely, one member of a fraternity, we'll call him
Suitor B, was observed spending an inordinate time with and showing an undue interest in the girlfriend of another member,
Suitor A, who was of yet unaware of this intrusion. Other members of the aforementioned fraternity approached
Suitor B rather gently at first suggesting that he cease and desist from this unseemly behavior. He failed to respond correctly and after a few days was greeted by a shampoo bottle filled with a mysterious substance, a toothpaste tube filled with a primitive, oily hair cream, and finally a bottle of Listerine filled with a vegetable-based mechanical oil. This potent chemical combination seemed to have the desire effect and the situation was swiftly concluded in
Suitoe A's favor.
- Is the suitor a friend of yours?
If he is and you are still seriously considering this course of action, it would seem that you have a limited ability to understand friendship. As a result you probably have an even more limited concept of love and for this reason you should currently not be pursuing a relationship of any sort.
- Do you want to be "That" guy?
Even if the suitor is not a close personal friend, or an acquaintance you have any responsibility to or love of, do you want to be forever known as the guy who will cut another guys legs out from under him. Do you really want to be the reason that a girl tells a perfectly decent guy that she just wants to be friends.
- Is Suitor A an absolute jerk, lowlife, who should probably be given a swift kick?
If this is the case then go for it on one condition. If the girl would be interested in such a punk is she really the one that you are looking for. If she is really a solid girl and is either not interested or possibly deceived about his true nature, then by all means go for it. In this case you may actually be doing a service to the human race. If this is not the case you are merely headed for trouble. There is an old saying that nice guys finish last. This is not always true by any means, or even frequently true. Relationships can not work out for a variety of legitimate reasons. I would argue that the majority of the nice guys finish last situations are a direct result of a so-called nice guy directing his energy in the direction of a woman who is unable to distinguish between a nice guy and a punk who should be given a swift kick.
Overall this is a dangerous situation to say the least. The best advice would probably be to avoid the situation entirely. If you feel very strongly that you should continue to pursue this situation do so at your own risk.
